Recently updated on September 24th, 2019
This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: “I beautified ‘As’ishah for ALLAH’s Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Wedding Night in Islam Etiquettes Prayers Tips has a lot more to read.→Dua For Help From ALLAH
Bismillah hirRahmaan nirRaheem
With The Name of ALLAH, The Gracious and The Merciful
SallALLAHU ‘Alayhe Wasallam
Islamic Etiquettes in Wedding Night
Tips and Prayers
All praise is due to ALLAH Ta’ala, The ONE who said in the verses of HIS Book: “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect”. [Ar-Room 30:21]. In the post Wedding Night in Islam we will discuss the recommended tips, etiquettes and prayers in Islam. Find Melting Husband’s Heart for Wife here.
May the prayers and peace of ALLAH be upon HIS Prophet Mu’hammad, the one who said in an authenticated hadith: “Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers on the Day of Qiyama”.
[Ahmad and atTabaarani with Hasan Isnaad. And declared Saheeh from Anas by Ibn Hibbaan. And it has witnesses which will be mentioned in Question 19]
And those who pray, “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” [Al-Furqan 25:74]
However, there are few etiquettes, tips and recommendations for Wedding Night in Islam, According to Hadith as well.
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Wedding Night Etiquettes in Islam
Show Kindness for Intimacy with your Wife
A happy marriage can only be possible when there is a sincere love between husband and wife. Husband and wife must be complimentary to each other and they are their better halves. A wife should try to pray please her husband if he is not. It is a very important part of Wedding Night Etiquettes in Islam and is also desirable, when one goes into his wife on his wedding night, to show her kindness, such as presenting her with something to drink, etc.
This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: “I beautified ‘As’ishah for ALLAH’s Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Then, he offered it to ‘Aa’ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: “Take from the hand of the Prophet.” She then took it and drank some.
Then, the Prophet said to her, “Give some to your companion.” At that point, I said: “O Messenger of ALLAH, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand.” He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my knees. Then, I began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that I might hit the spot from which the Prophet had drunk. Then, the Prophet said about some women who were there with me: “Give them some.” But, they said: “We don’t want it.” (ie. we are not hungry). The Prophet said: “Do not combine hunger and fibbing!”
[Ahmad and al-Humaidi. Ahmad reports it with 2 Isnaads – one of which supports the other, and it is supported…]”
During the First Wedding Night in Islam and the Prayer
Place your Hands on your Wife’s Head
The husband should, at the time of consummating the marriage with his wife or before that, place his hand on the front part of her head, mention the name of Allah Most High, and pray for ALLAH’s blessings. As in the statement of the Prophet: “When any of you marries a woman … he should hold her forelock, mention ALLAH Most High, and pray for His blessings saying:
Allaahumma Innee As’aluka Min Khairiha Wa Khairi Maa Jabaltaha ‘Alaihi Wa A’oodhubika Min Sharriha Wa Sharri Maa Jabaltaha ‘Alaihi
“O ALLAH, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her.”
[Aboo Dawood and others. Al-Bukhari in “Af’aalul-‘Ibaad”, Aboo Dawood, Ibn Majah, al-Haakim, alBaihaqee and Aboo Ya’laa with Hasan Isnaad …]
Husband & Wife Should Pray Together on Their First Wedding Night in Islam
It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following 2 narrations:
- First: On the authority of Abu Sa’eed Mawla Abu Asyad who said: “I got married while I was a slave. I invited a number of the companions of the Prophet, among them was Ibn Mas’ood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifa. When the prayer was called, Abu Dharr began to step forward when the others said to him: ‘No!’ He said: ‘Is it so?’ And they said: ‘Yes.’ Then, I stepped forward and led the prayer though I was a slave possessed. They taught me, saying: ‘When your wife comes to you, pray 2 rakaat. Then, ask ALLAH for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.'”
[Ibn Abi Shaibah and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq]
- Second: On the authority of Shaqeeq who said: “A man named Abu Hareez came and said: ‘I have married a young girl, and I am afraid that she will despise me.’ ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood said to him: “Verily, closeness is from ALLAH, and hatred is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which ALLAH has allowed. So, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you 2 rakaat.'” In another version of the same story, “‘Abdullah went on to say: ‘And say: ‘O ALLAH give Your blessings on me in my wife, and to her in me. O ALLAH join us together as long as You join us in good, and split us apart if You send to us that which is better.'” Find Wazifa for Evil Eye here.
[Ibn Abi Shaibah and at-Tabaraani and ‘AbdurRazzaaq: Saheeh].
When a Husband Intends to have sex with his Wife during the First Wedding Night in Islam
Dua for Intention of Having Relation with Wife
Humbistari ki Dua in Islam or Mubashrat ki Dua
This is a Sunnah if a husband wants to get love from his wife. This is his right and vice-versa. When a Muslim man is about to enter his wife, he should always say first: Bismillahi, Allahumma
Bismillahi, ALLAHumma Jannibna-ash-Shaitaan, Wa Jannib-Ash-Shaitaana Maa Razaqtana
[In the name of ALLAH, O ALLAH , keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (ie. offspring).] About this, the Prophet said: “After that, if ALLAH decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child”.
[Some Scholars say that children are disobedient to their parents usually because the parents forget/forgot to say the above.
Islamic Way of Having Intercourse At First Night of Wedding in Islam
Islam Mein Biwi Se Humbistari Ka Tarika
It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes – from behind or from the front. About this ALLAH revealed the following verse: “Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will”.
There are also various hadith on this subject: On the authority of Jaabir who said: “The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then ALLAH revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;”
The Prophet said: “From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina”.
[Al-Bukharee and Muslim]
When the Makkans came to al-Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her. She disapproved of it and told him: “We used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me!” This dispute became very serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet. So ALLAH, revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will;“
(ie. from the front, the back, or laid out flat). What is meant here is the entry which produces children.”
[Aboo Dawood, Al-Haakim and others: Hasan Isnaad and is supported].
Recommended Way of Having Sex with Wife During the First Wedding Night in Islam
Mubasharat ka Sahi Tarika in Islam
Prohibition of Sodomy in Islam
Position of Sex in Islam, Having Sex through Anus, Anal Sex and Oral Sex are Haram in Islam
It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. This is understood from the verse quoted above (i.e. since a “planting ground” can only refer to a place where something might grow), and from the narrations cited above. There are also other hadith on the subject, among them:
- First: On the authority of Umm Salama who said: “When the Muhajireen came to Ansaar at Al-Madeenah, some of them married women from the Ansaar. The women of the Muhajireen used to lie on their faces (during intercourse), while the women of the Ansaar never did it that way. Then, one of the men of the Muhajireen wanted his wife to do that. She refused until such time as she could ask the Prophet about it. She went to the Prophet but was embarrassed to ask the question, and so Umm Salama asked him. Then the verse was revealed which says: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;”
The Prophet said: “No! (not any way you wish) Except in one opening! (ie. the vagina)”.
[Ahmad, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh]
- Second: On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas who said: “‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of ALLAH, I am destroyed!’ The Prophet asked: ‘And what has destroyed you, O ‘Umar?’ ‘Umar said: `I turned my mount around last night.’ (An expression which means he has sexual intercourse with his wife penetrating the vagina while mounting her from the rear.) The Prophet gave him no answer and when the revelation came and the verse was revealed which says:
“Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;”
The Prophet said: “From the front and from the back, just beware of her anus and her menses”.
[AnNasaa’ee in “`Ishratun-Nisaa” with Hasan Isnaad, at-Tirmidhee and others]
- Third: On the authority of Khuzaima ibn Thaabit who said: “A man asked the Prophet about entering women in the rear, or the entering by a man of his wife in her rear, and the Prohet answered: `Halaal (ie. permissible).’ When the man turned to leave, the Prophet called him or ordered for him to be called back and said : “What did you say? In which of the 2 openings did you mean? If what you meant was from her rear and in her vagina, then yes. But if what you meant was from her rear and in her anus, then no. Verily ALLAH is not ashamed of the truth – do not enter your wives in their anuses!” Find Vaginismus Disease Cure here.
[as-Shaafi, al-Baihaqi and others: Saheeh]
- Fourth: “ALLAH does not look at one who comes to his wife in her anus”.
[an-Nasaa’ee: Hasan Isnaad and supported in “al-‘Ishrah”; at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Hibbaan]
- Fifth: “Cursed are those who come to their wives in their anuses.”
[Aboo Dawood, Ahmad and others with hasan isnaad and is supported].
- Sixth: “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad.”
[Aboo Dawood, At-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh]
When a Muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife in a legal manner and then wishes to return another time, he should first perform wuzu’, based on the statement of the Prophet:
“When one of you comes to his wife and then wishes to return another time, let him perform wuzu’ between the 2 times (In another version, the same wuzu which he performs for prayer) for verily, it will invigorate his return.”
[Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaibah and others]
Few Recommendations & Tips in the Wedding Night
Bathing is Preferable
Islam Mein Humbistari Ke Bad Ghusl-e-Janabat
Bathing, however, is preferable to merely making wuzu’ in such situations. Abu Raafi’ narrates: “That the Prophet made the rounds of all his wives one night, bathing in the house of each one. He (i.e. the narrator) asked the Prophet: “Couldn’t you have just bathed once (i.e. at the end)?” The Prophet answered: “This way is purer, cleaner and better”.
[Aboo Daawood, An-Nasaa’ee: Hasan in “Al-‘Ishrah”, and others]
Is Bathing of Husband and Wife Together Allowed in Islam
Miya Biwi Ki Humbistari Ke Bad Ek Sath Nahane Ki Ijazat
The answer is yes. It is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her private parts, and she sees his. This is established by a number of authentic hadith, among them:
On the authority of ‘Aa’ishah (Radiallahu Anha) who said: “I used to bathe with the Prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our hands collided inside it. He used to race me such that I would say: `Leave some for me, leave some for me!’ She added: `We were in a state of Janaba (i.e. the state of having slept together).'”
[Al-Bukharee and Muslim]
Making Ablution and Ritual Bath after Sex and before Sleeping
Janabat Ke Baad Wuzu Aur Ghusal Ka Tariqa
It is best for husband and wife not to sleep after having sex until they first perform wuzu’. There are various hadith about this, among them:
- First: On the authority of ‘Aa’shah (RadiALLAHU Anha) who said: “Whenever the Prophet wished to sleep or eat while in a state of Janaba (i.e. after having sex and before bathing), he would wash his private parts and perform wuzu‘ as for prayer.”
[Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]
- Second: On the authority of Ibn ‘Umar who said: “O Messenger of ALLAH, should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?” The Prophet answered: “Yes, after making wuzu.”
[AlBukhaaree and Muslim]
In another version: “Perform wuzu’ and wash your private parts, and then sleep.”
[Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]
And, in another version: “Yes, you can perform wuzu’, sleep, and bathe whenever you want.”
[Muslim and al-Baihaqi]
And, in still another version: “Yes, and perform wuzu’ if you wish.” (This last version proves that this wuzu’ is not obligatory.)
[Ibn Khuzima and Ibn Hibban: Saheeh]
Third: On the authority of ‘Ammaar ibn Yaasir, the Prophet said: “There are three which the angels will never approach: The corpse of a disbeliever; a man who wears perfume of women; and, one who has had sex until he performs wuzu‘.”
[Abu Dawood, Ahmad and others: Hasan]
Ritual Bath After Having Sex in Islam
Humbistari Ke Bad Ghusl
Bathing, however, is preferable to any of the above-mentioned possibilities as is clear in the hadith of `Abullaah ibn Qais who said: “I asked ‘Ai’ishah: “What did the Prophet do when in a state of janaba? Did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?” She answered: “He did all of those things. Sometimes he bathes and then slept. And sometimes he performed wuzu’ and then slept.” I said: “Praise be to ALLAH who made things flexible.”
[Muslim, Ahmad, and Abu `Auwaana]
Sex During Menstruation Islam, Allowed?
Find Wazifa for Irregular Periods here. The answer is no. It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. Find Wazifa for Excess Bleeding During Menses here. This is clear in the following verse of the Qur’an: “They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by ALLAH. For ALLAH loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.” Find Wazifa for Bad Husband here.
There are also hadith about this, among them:
- First: “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad.”
- Second: On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, who said: “When one of their women has their period, the Jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, drink, or sleep with her in the house. The Prophet was asked about this, and ALLAH revealed the verse: “They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in their courses, … Then the Prophet said: “Be with them in the house, and do everything except for intercourse itself.” The Jews said: “This man wants to leave nothing which we do without doing something different.” Then, Asyad ibn Hudair said: “O Messenger of ALLAH, verily the Jews says such-and-such, should we not then have sexual intercourse during menstruation?” The Prophet’s face changed such that they thought that he was enraged with them, so they left. As they were coming out, they saw a gift of milk being brought to the Prophet. The Prophet then sent someone after them to give them a drink of milk, so they felt that he was not actually angry with them.” Find Wazifa for Stopped Menses here.
[Muslim, Abu ‘Auwaana and Abu Daawood]
Purpose of Nikah in Islam, What Muslim Couples are Desirous to do?
Miya Biwi Ke Beech Nikah Ka Maqsad Islam Mein
Both spouses should enter into marriage with the following intentions: freeing themselves of unfulfilled sexual desires, and protecting themselves from falling into that which ALLAH has forbidden (i.e. adultery and fornication). What’s more, a reward as the reward for sadaqa (voluntary giving of charity) is recorded for them every time they have sex.
This is based on the following hadith of the Prophet narrated by Abu Dharr: “Some of the companions of the Prophet said to him: ‘O Messenger of ALLAH, the affluent among us have taken the rewards (of the hereafter)! They pray as we pray, fast as we fast, and then they give charity from the surplus of their wealth!”
The Prophet said: “Did ALLAH not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa? Verily for every time you say SubhanALLAH (Exalted is ALLAH) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Allahuakbar (ALLAH is Most Great) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Al-Hamdulillah (Praise is to ALLAH) there is sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa.” The Companions said:
The Companions said: “O Messenger of ALLAH, is there a reward for one of us when he satisfies his sexual desire?” The Prophet said: “Don’t you see, if he had satisfied it with the forbidden, would there not have been a sin upon him?” They said: “Why, yes!” He said: “In the same way, when he satisfies it with that which is lawful, there is for him in that a reward.”
[Muslim, an- Nasaa’ee in al-‘Ishrah, and Ahamd]
What Should be Done in the Morning After Wedding Night?
Humbistari ki Rat ki Agli Subah Kya Karna Chahiye
It is desirable for the husband to go to his relatives who came to visit him in his house, on the following morning, to give them greetings and pray for them. It is also desirable for them to do likewise for him, as in the following hadith narrated by Anas :
“The Messenger of ALLAH gave a feast on the morning of his wedding night with Zainab, at which he fed the Muslims to satisfaction on bread and meat. Then, he went out to the Mothers of the Believers (i.e. to his other wives), gave them greetings and prayed for them, which they returned in kind. This is the way he used to do in the morning after a wedding night.” Find Remove Differences between Husband & Wife here.
[Ibn Sa’d and an-Nasaa’ee: Saheeh]
The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets
Humbistari Ki bato Ko Dusro Ko Batane Ki Manahi
It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this:
- First: “Verily among the worst people before ALLAH on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets.”
[Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others]
- Second: “On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated “that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: “Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?” The people were silent. Then I said: “O, Yes! O Messenger of ALLAH verily both the women and men do that.” Then the Prophet said: “Do not do that. It is like a male shaitan who meets a female shaitan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!”
[Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]
Is Walima Compulsory in Islam?
Kya Islam Mein Walima Zaruri Hai?
The husband must sponsor a feast after the consummation of the marriage. This is based on the order of the Prophet to ‘Abdur-Rahman ibn ‘Auf to do so, and on the hadith narrated by Buraida ibn At-Haseeb, who said: “When ‘Ali sought the hand of Fatimah (the Prophet’s daughter) in marriage, he said that the Prophet said: “A wedding (and in another version “a bridegroom”) must have a feast.” The narrator said: “Sa’ad said: ‘(a feast) of a sheep.’ Someone else said: ‘Of such and such a quantity of corn.”
[Ahmad and at-Tabaraani: Its Isnaad is acceptable as al -Haafiz Ibn Hajr says in Fathul -Baaree: 9/188]
The Sunnah Of Wedding Feast in Islam
Islam Mein Walima Ki Sunnat
The following should be observed with regard to the wedding banquet:
- First: It should be held (‘aqb – Fathul Baaree: 9/242-244) three days after the first wedding night since this is the tradition of the Prophet which has reached us. On the authority of Anas who said:
“The Prophet entered upon his wife and sent me to invite some men for food.”
[al-Bukhaaree and al-Baihaqi]
Also on the authority of Anas, he said: “The Prophet married Safiya, and her freedom was her dowry. He gave the feast for three days.”
[Abu Ya’laa and others: Hasan]
- Second: One should invite the righteous to his banquet whether they be rich or poor. The Prophet said: “Do not be the friend of any except believers, and have only the pious eat your food.” [Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh].
- Third: If one is able, he should have a feast of one or more sheep. Based on the following hadith, Anas said: “Abdur-Rahman came to al-Madinah, and the Prophet assigned Sa’ad ibn Ar-Rabee’ al-Ansari as his brother. Sa’ad took him to his house, called for food, and they both ate.
The Sa’ad said: “O my brother, I am the wealthiest of the people of al-Madinah (in another version: “… of the Ansaar”), so look to half of my property and take it (in another version: “… and I will divide my garden in half”). Also, I have two wives (and you, my brother in ALLAH, have no wife), so look to which of mine pleases you more, so I can divorce her for you.
Then upon the completion of the prescribed waiting period, you may marry her.” ‘Abdur-Rahmaan said: “No, by ALLAH, may ALLAH bless you in your family and your property. Show me the way to the marketplace.” And so they showed him the way to the market-place and he went there. He bought and he sold and he made a profit. In the evening, he came back to the people of his house with some dried milk for cooking and some ghee. After that, some time elapsed, until he appeared one day with traces of saffron on his garments.
The Prophet said to him: “What is this?” He said: “O Messenger of ALLAH, I have married a woman among the Ansaar.” The Prophet answered: “What did you give her for her dowry?” He answered: “The weight of five dirhams in gold.” Then, the Prophet said: “May ALLAH bless you, give a feast if only with one sheep.” ‘Abdur-Rahmaan said: “I have seen myself in such a state that if I were to lift a stone, I would expect to find some gold or silver under it.” Anas said: “I saw after his death that each of his wives inherited one hundred thousand Dinars.”
[Al-Bukhaaree, an-Nasaa’ee, and others]
Also on the authority of Anas, he said: “I never saw the Prophet sponsor such a wedding feast as the one he gave for Zainab. He slaughtered a sheep and fed everyone meat and bread until they ate no more.”
[Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim and others]
Can Wedding Feast be Other Than Meat?
Gosht Ke Ilava Kuch Aur Walima Main Khilane Ke Liye
Yes, it is allowed. It is allowed to give the wedding banquet with any food which is available and affordable, even if that does not include meat. This is based on the following hadith narrated by Anas: “The Prophet stayed between Khaibar and al-Madinah for three days during which he had entered with his wife Safiya . Then I invited the Muslims to his Wedding feast. There was neither meat nor bread at his feast. Rather, leather eating mats were brought out and on them were placed dates, dried milk, and clarified butter. The people ate their fill.”
[Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim and others]
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Participation of the Wealthy in the Wedding Feast With Their Wealth
Maal Jama Karke Walima Ki Dawat Karna
It is commendable for the wealthy to help in the preparations for the wedding feast based on the hadith narrated by Anas about the Prophet’s marriage to Safiya: “Then, when we were on the road, Umm Sulaim prepared her (Safiya) for him (the Prophet and brought her to him at night, and so the Prophet awoke the next morning a new bridegroom.
Then he said: “Whoever has something, let him bring it.” (In another version, he said “Whoever has an excess of provisions, let him bring it.”) Anas continues: “And so the leather eating mats were spread out and one man would bring dried milk, another dates and another clarified butter and so they made Hais (hais is a mixture of the above three things). The people then ate of this hais and drank from pools of rainwater which were nearby, and that was the wedding feast of the Prophet.” Find Manzil Dua here.
[Al-Bukhaaree, Muslims, and others]